things you would love to say at work

[Rich]

1 . I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh1t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're
saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the ****-up fairy has visited us
again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant

21. Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber Than a Box of
Rocks Award.

22. You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking
your
ass in the parking lot.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different.

[KingStromba]

LOL, i do say these things

[NickFr]

PMSL

[WeZ01y]

*Makes note and remembers to use them for next time ;)*

[snakeylady]

brilliant - must remeber some of those for the next time management start getting arsy

[BigBoreBri]

The one for the apprentice...

41. Its not that you dont try... its just that your useless!!!


The one for the boss...

42. You must be ill... or is incompetence hereditary??


And my personal favourite...

43. F*ck it!

[edde]

44) Sorry what've you been talking about for the past 2 hrs I fell fast asleep

45) Yes I have a second free but todays not a good day so I'm not going to do it

46) Computer says NO

47) Do I look like your slave?

4 Go back to licking your bossses arse/ Why've you stopped licking your bosses arse?

49) You only pay me to turn up ever day to do work requites more money.

50) What makes you think I care.

51) Excuse me I'm busy booking my holidays/ reading forums/ playing games/ chatting.

52) What makes you think (fill in the blank) care as much as you?

53) I'd love to have a purly s3xual rlationship with you in work time but I've got 4 other relationships like that going at the monment.

54) Just stut up and get your top off (more relevent to women but each to there own)

55) Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Best thing I've ever said to me boos was this Tuesday at 12.30 said I'd see him tomorrow and walked out. He asked me where I've been going
"Off to uni as always"
"When did that course start"
"Err I started going to it about 10 months"
"O right I never even noticed you'd gone "
I didn't mention its because most days he's of at some meeting so never sees me anyway.

[Lunner]

erm.... out of the 60 things there i've said about 10 of them