Older and Wiser

[NickFr]

As one of the older and no doubt wiser members of this club and forum, I feel it's important to keep you younger and less enlightened souls informed, so i am now going to share some of my pearls of Wisdom with you

Your daily moment of Zen by Nick

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just bugger off !!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

No one is listening until you fart.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes of bad judgment

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

[KingStromba]

LOL

[Tom_16v]

hehe

[snakeylady]

:D As the other 'older & wiser' member of this forum I concur with everything you have elucidated so succinctly

[KingStromba]

Also i d like to add:

A rolling stone may gather no moss, but it still chips my bloody car.

[Mark_Ritchspeed]

I would like to add that although I am only 12 years old I am also extremely wise.

[KingStromba]

I would like to add that although I sleep with boys of only 12 years old I am also extremely wise.

[Mark_Ritchspeed]

I would like to add that although I sleep with boys of only 12 years old I am also extremely wise.

Doh. Walked into that one.