HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB

[wavy]

stole from another forum but worth the post


HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB:

1. Tell your boss the reason you were late was because you fancied a
sh*g before work.

2. Stumble back from lunch, two hours late, pissed as a fart chanting 'The
Venga Bus is coming..."

3. Ask the chief executive for some Rizlas.

4. Grow a cannabis plant on your desk.

5. Tell the boss you'll "Send the boys round" - if they don't authorise
your pay rise.

6. Admit you traded in your company car for a two-week sh*g-fest in Ibiza.

7. Set up your own S&M dungeon in the stationery cupboard.

8. Bring a sleeping bag to work for those little afternoon naps!

9. Pawn your computer because you're skint till pay-day.

10. Ask the boss's wife "Have you noticed that one of your husbands
balls hangs lower than the other".

11. Call the boss to your desk, call him "Sonny" and tell him his work
isn't up to scratch.

12. Start a one-man/woman Mexican wave every time someone leaves their
desk.

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3) Insist that your e-mail address be:
'xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com' or
'Elvis-the-king@companyname.com'

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair
dancing.

6) Put your waste bin on your desk and label it 'IN.' (This is a 'must
do')

7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Cool Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

10) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

11) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up
the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

12) Don't use any punctuation

13) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

14) Ask people what sex they are.

15) Specify that your drive through order is to "go".

16) Sing along at the opera.

17) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

1Cool Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.

19) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're
doing.

For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

20) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

21) Five days in advance tell your friends you can't attend their party
'cause you're not in the mood.

AND THE FINAL WAY TO ANNOY PEOPLE:

22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent
it to you.

[Mooseman]

quality lmoa

[Gav]

fpmsl

thats fookin awsome!!

[Kelly]

2. Stumble back from lunch, two hours late, pissed as a fart chanting 'The
Venga Bus is coming..."



I have to say - this doesn't work - i tried it :P

[2 live]

evry day probly^^^ lol

[Mattie]

pmsl!

think iv read it b4 but thats funny as foooook!