Swervin_Mervin
28-04-2007, 00:16
7 Countries
2360 miles
5 days
€600 of petrol
A considerable amount of alcohol
Not very much sleep
2 highly agitated police forces
8)
Day 0:
10 a.m. start to get the car stickered up. It’s not as easy as it looks, hence why I left it to the other two to sort out…who fvcked it up nicely with wrinkles everywhere. :roll:
Having packed everything by 11:30 we were counting down the departure for Goodwood. Finally got all the stickers on by about 12:20. At about 12:45, 15 minutes late, the other team turned up in the 7….with names on windows and white viper stripes. I have to say I rather like the vipered E32 7.
So after a quick cheesy group photo it was time for the off, via a fill up. An impromptu TLGP revealed that, even with an extra person on board and similar PWR figures, the big straight 6 730 was just no match for the V6 605. :8
We eventually arrived at Goodwood Motor Circuit at about 6 in the evening and set about eyeing up the competition…mostly E34 5s and a couple of E32 7s. Nothing too amusing yet though so we set about registering and getting our numbers on the car, along with the event sponsors. By the time we’d finished and started on the ale, the more amusing entrants started arriving. Two ambulances, a Merc 500SE with all the entrants decked out as rocket-launcher toting arabs, smokey and the bandit in a 924 and the Pussy Cat Trolls in a pink Shogun (the team name was spot on).
I then proceeded to get a tiny bit drunk before we set off at 23:30 for the morning ferry. Kipped in car etc, etc.
Day 1:
At some time about 06:00 the ferry set sail and we all convened in the Silverstone bar for the first of the event briefings. After warnings about the reception we were likely to receive from the French (they’d taken all the reg nos down at Dover) we got the most important piece of info…the first checkpoint and campsite details.
1st stop: McDonalds in Anderlecht, Brussels. A quick fill up and it was pedal down. Screw the French police we’d be over the border in no time. Passed a shite load of other entrants, got to Brussels in good time. Fvck. Where the hell is Anderlecht? Football knowledge guessed right at it being west of the centre, but jeeezus could we find the sodding place? Could we fvck. Not helped by the team mates deciding to guess at the local geography rather than just staying on the ring road until we saw a sign. :roll: 1 hour later and after stumbling across several other lost Scumballers we eventually found the place on top of some mall, accessed through a park. WTF?!
Got the receipt and set off for checkpoint 2; McDonalds in Stuttgart. I see a theme developing. It’s at this point we made out first mistake. We decided to follow the 7 as they had TomTom. As we passed the turning for the ring road I knew what we’d be doing for the next hour seeing as everyone else was too retarded to navigate by the sun. TomTom it seems likes to learn places it doesn’t know by just randomly getting you to drive round. After 45 minutes my patience broke and I declared we set course for the sun (south). At least the locals got a taste of the 6 cruising with the French rap pumping out. :8.
So, Stuttgart. We had two options to get in. Across the top and in from the north, or down the side and in from the west. We opted the former, the 7 the latter. We got there at 20:00, 30 minutes later than them, having got stuck in roadworks on the autobahn we chose. Doh!
Then we learnt that the McDonalds we were aiming for was demolished a while back. :belm: So after trying for an other half an hour to find our other team in the 7 (as they had a map of Stuttgart) we gave up and used the stars. We eventually arrived at 10, followed by the Polizei, alerted by our illegal u-turn. It seems they’d got wind of the event from the dirty surrender monkeys and were out in force. Furthermore the campsite was turd, bascically located in a car park right near the arenas, where Bob Dylan was playing. It seemed that there was definitely going to be a large welcoming party in the morning so I stayed off the ale and got some kip, yet again in the car.
Day 2:
Briefing put back as the organisers were busy placating the filth. Most of the Stuttgart Polizei were there and they were filming the event from the top of a Caravelle. What a chucklesome bunch. The funniest thing about the germans was that they just didn’t get why we wanted to do what we were doing. Anyway, it was clear everyone was going to get checked out, breathalysed, cars seen etc. A few didn’t make it through (the Smokey/Bandit 924 was condemned) but after breathing on a policewoman to prove my lack of booze we were off. Next stop:
Jolly Shopper, Bardonecchia followed by camping in the same place. Today was a truly brilliant day. Made our way to Zurich and managed to hit 140mph quite comfortably, until we hit a compression and the front shocks had us bouncing down the carriageway for several hundred yards. :shock: We backed off, but were ready to try for more, since even at 140 the 6 was stilling pulling well. Less could be said of the 730 which seemingly kept hitting a wall at 130. Meh. So after a quick fill up near the border at Singen we headed via Zurich and then down the eastern side of Zugersee. Truly special views.
We then opted to stop off at Lugano for our first proper meal since the night before the event started. Another incredible place and probably the best appreciated beer/pizza combo I’ve ever had. Set sail at about 18:30 for Milan before aiming for Turin. Christ almighty the Italian motorways are truly shit. Chicanes and undulations galore. The knackered shocks really made for an interesting journey. I nearly spilt my beer for god’s sake!
Being thick we didn’t realise that Bardonecchia wasn’t a suburb of Turin until we were about 20 minutes the other side! :D So, not surprisingly it was another 22:00 campsite arrival. Still, at least there was a bar here that still had beer on..and Grappa. Cue loads of arseholed brits who then spotted the option for racing naked across the campsite’s pond. :D Sadly someone soon put an end to the betting and ordered the bar shut and we all go get some sleep. Gah. More beer methinks, until we passed out with exhaustion.
Day 3:
After it was let slip by the pissed up organisers that today was only a short journey, everyone was convinced we were off to crash the Top Marques show in Monte Carlo. Balls.
1st Checkpoint McDonald’s at the Toison D’Or in Dijon. Campsite also in Dijon. Today we opted to simply tank the 6 and get there as quick as we could so we could start getting kegged for the big last night. Arrived at the McDonalds at about 15:00 to find that, what a surprise, it doesn’t open on a Sunday. And neither does the rest of France FFS. Where are you supposed to find beer on the Sabbath? Bloody catholic countries.
So campsite for 15:30, tent up by 15:50 and beers out by 16:00. Factor in the excellent facilities and a 30C temperature and the scene was set. It was our best result yet as well, 15th. We’d have been much better placed if it wasn’t for my need to pinch off a large one earlier in the day. Things started to get lively. The 30-something Mancs opposite (who were competing in a rented 407 after leaving their hearse on the M25) had the best array of tunes, not surprisingly. Some really early 90s classics :8
After necking some free gin & tonics (thanks Hendricks, twas very nice), getting together for the final filming shot, seeing the presenter model Vikki Thomas getting a bit of a shock after one of the mancs let rip with a water gun, it was time to hit Dijon. Turned in to a bit of a brits abroad type of night out but it was a cracker. Got the stag leathered, got a photo with Vikki Thomas and her personalities, watched some ironing board skating down the nearby street, pissed off the French, enjoyed the best chicken kebab ever, then headed back. Cracked out the JD and coke when we returned. The Polo got a bit of a beating as did quite a few other motors. I think the Polo ended up on its side at one point and was used for a spot of car-surfing as well. Lots more went on but I don’t remember what. Will have to wait for the videos to start surfacing.
Day 4:
Cross eyed and still pissed we had the final briefing. Next stop was the last:
Calais.
Probably the most boring day tbh. It was a bit of a comedown after the night before and it was a long journey, all on auto-routes. I believe I got flashed at some point but that was about the most excitement. We even missed the Calais centre turning and consequently the final checkpoint. Ah well.
Must say, big thanks to the bikers on the ferry. As we were preparing to disembark things started to get rowdy and the bikers joined in with some burnouts whilst the ambulances set the blues and twos off. Cracking finale to the whole event and from here on it was just a matchstick-propped-eyes slog back to Manchester.
It’s taken me most of this week to recover. Still felt hungover on Wednesday, and am only just feeling not tired.
If I can find someone to do it next year I might very well consider it. It was a great event, and at the moment I still haven’t got my head round the whole thing as so much happened in such a short space of time, and it was all over so quickly.
PHOTOS (http://s68.photobucket.com/albums/i5/Swervin_Mervin/Scumball%203000%202007/)
2360 miles
5 days
€600 of petrol
A considerable amount of alcohol
Not very much sleep
2 highly agitated police forces
8)
Day 0:
10 a.m. start to get the car stickered up. It’s not as easy as it looks, hence why I left it to the other two to sort out…who fvcked it up nicely with wrinkles everywhere. :roll:
Having packed everything by 11:30 we were counting down the departure for Goodwood. Finally got all the stickers on by about 12:20. At about 12:45, 15 minutes late, the other team turned up in the 7….with names on windows and white viper stripes. I have to say I rather like the vipered E32 7.
So after a quick cheesy group photo it was time for the off, via a fill up. An impromptu TLGP revealed that, even with an extra person on board and similar PWR figures, the big straight 6 730 was just no match for the V6 605. :8
We eventually arrived at Goodwood Motor Circuit at about 6 in the evening and set about eyeing up the competition…mostly E34 5s and a couple of E32 7s. Nothing too amusing yet though so we set about registering and getting our numbers on the car, along with the event sponsors. By the time we’d finished and started on the ale, the more amusing entrants started arriving. Two ambulances, a Merc 500SE with all the entrants decked out as rocket-launcher toting arabs, smokey and the bandit in a 924 and the Pussy Cat Trolls in a pink Shogun (the team name was spot on).
I then proceeded to get a tiny bit drunk before we set off at 23:30 for the morning ferry. Kipped in car etc, etc.
Day 1:
At some time about 06:00 the ferry set sail and we all convened in the Silverstone bar for the first of the event briefings. After warnings about the reception we were likely to receive from the French (they’d taken all the reg nos down at Dover) we got the most important piece of info…the first checkpoint and campsite details.
1st stop: McDonalds in Anderlecht, Brussels. A quick fill up and it was pedal down. Screw the French police we’d be over the border in no time. Passed a shite load of other entrants, got to Brussels in good time. Fvck. Where the hell is Anderlecht? Football knowledge guessed right at it being west of the centre, but jeeezus could we find the sodding place? Could we fvck. Not helped by the team mates deciding to guess at the local geography rather than just staying on the ring road until we saw a sign. :roll: 1 hour later and after stumbling across several other lost Scumballers we eventually found the place on top of some mall, accessed through a park. WTF?!
Got the receipt and set off for checkpoint 2; McDonalds in Stuttgart. I see a theme developing. It’s at this point we made out first mistake. We decided to follow the 7 as they had TomTom. As we passed the turning for the ring road I knew what we’d be doing for the next hour seeing as everyone else was too retarded to navigate by the sun. TomTom it seems likes to learn places it doesn’t know by just randomly getting you to drive round. After 45 minutes my patience broke and I declared we set course for the sun (south). At least the locals got a taste of the 6 cruising with the French rap pumping out. :8.
So, Stuttgart. We had two options to get in. Across the top and in from the north, or down the side and in from the west. We opted the former, the 7 the latter. We got there at 20:00, 30 minutes later than them, having got stuck in roadworks on the autobahn we chose. Doh!
Then we learnt that the McDonalds we were aiming for was demolished a while back. :belm: So after trying for an other half an hour to find our other team in the 7 (as they had a map of Stuttgart) we gave up and used the stars. We eventually arrived at 10, followed by the Polizei, alerted by our illegal u-turn. It seems they’d got wind of the event from the dirty surrender monkeys and were out in force. Furthermore the campsite was turd, bascically located in a car park right near the arenas, where Bob Dylan was playing. It seemed that there was definitely going to be a large welcoming party in the morning so I stayed off the ale and got some kip, yet again in the car.
Day 2:
Briefing put back as the organisers were busy placating the filth. Most of the Stuttgart Polizei were there and they were filming the event from the top of a Caravelle. What a chucklesome bunch. The funniest thing about the germans was that they just didn’t get why we wanted to do what we were doing. Anyway, it was clear everyone was going to get checked out, breathalysed, cars seen etc. A few didn’t make it through (the Smokey/Bandit 924 was condemned) but after breathing on a policewoman to prove my lack of booze we were off. Next stop:
Jolly Shopper, Bardonecchia followed by camping in the same place. Today was a truly brilliant day. Made our way to Zurich and managed to hit 140mph quite comfortably, until we hit a compression and the front shocks had us bouncing down the carriageway for several hundred yards. :shock: We backed off, but were ready to try for more, since even at 140 the 6 was stilling pulling well. Less could be said of the 730 which seemingly kept hitting a wall at 130. Meh. So after a quick fill up near the border at Singen we headed via Zurich and then down the eastern side of Zugersee. Truly special views.
We then opted to stop off at Lugano for our first proper meal since the night before the event started. Another incredible place and probably the best appreciated beer/pizza combo I’ve ever had. Set sail at about 18:30 for Milan before aiming for Turin. Christ almighty the Italian motorways are truly shit. Chicanes and undulations galore. The knackered shocks really made for an interesting journey. I nearly spilt my beer for god’s sake!
Being thick we didn’t realise that Bardonecchia wasn’t a suburb of Turin until we were about 20 minutes the other side! :D So, not surprisingly it was another 22:00 campsite arrival. Still, at least there was a bar here that still had beer on..and Grappa. Cue loads of arseholed brits who then spotted the option for racing naked across the campsite’s pond. :D Sadly someone soon put an end to the betting and ordered the bar shut and we all go get some sleep. Gah. More beer methinks, until we passed out with exhaustion.
Day 3:
After it was let slip by the pissed up organisers that today was only a short journey, everyone was convinced we were off to crash the Top Marques show in Monte Carlo. Balls.
1st Checkpoint McDonald’s at the Toison D’Or in Dijon. Campsite also in Dijon. Today we opted to simply tank the 6 and get there as quick as we could so we could start getting kegged for the big last night. Arrived at the McDonalds at about 15:00 to find that, what a surprise, it doesn’t open on a Sunday. And neither does the rest of France FFS. Where are you supposed to find beer on the Sabbath? Bloody catholic countries.
So campsite for 15:30, tent up by 15:50 and beers out by 16:00. Factor in the excellent facilities and a 30C temperature and the scene was set. It was our best result yet as well, 15th. We’d have been much better placed if it wasn’t for my need to pinch off a large one earlier in the day. Things started to get lively. The 30-something Mancs opposite (who were competing in a rented 407 after leaving their hearse on the M25) had the best array of tunes, not surprisingly. Some really early 90s classics :8
After necking some free gin & tonics (thanks Hendricks, twas very nice), getting together for the final filming shot, seeing the presenter model Vikki Thomas getting a bit of a shock after one of the mancs let rip with a water gun, it was time to hit Dijon. Turned in to a bit of a brits abroad type of night out but it was a cracker. Got the stag leathered, got a photo with Vikki Thomas and her personalities, watched some ironing board skating down the nearby street, pissed off the French, enjoyed the best chicken kebab ever, then headed back. Cracked out the JD and coke when we returned. The Polo got a bit of a beating as did quite a few other motors. I think the Polo ended up on its side at one point and was used for a spot of car-surfing as well. Lots more went on but I don’t remember what. Will have to wait for the videos to start surfacing.
Day 4:
Cross eyed and still pissed we had the final briefing. Next stop was the last:
Calais.
Probably the most boring day tbh. It was a bit of a comedown after the night before and it was a long journey, all on auto-routes. I believe I got flashed at some point but that was about the most excitement. We even missed the Calais centre turning and consequently the final checkpoint. Ah well.
Must say, big thanks to the bikers on the ferry. As we were preparing to disembark things started to get rowdy and the bikers joined in with some burnouts whilst the ambulances set the blues and twos off. Cracking finale to the whole event and from here on it was just a matchstick-propped-eyes slog back to Manchester.
It’s taken me most of this week to recover. Still felt hungover on Wednesday, and am only just feeling not tired.
If I can find someone to do it next year I might very well consider it. It was a great event, and at the moment I still haven’t got my head round the whole thing as so much happened in such a short space of time, and it was all over so quickly.
PHOTOS (http://s68.photobucket.com/albums/i5/Swervin_Mervin/Scumball%203000%202007/)