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  1. #1
    Forum User
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    Aberdeenshire - Drives: EvoVI/Williams2
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    207

    Showering..... really worth a read

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off cloths and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
    lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
    more
    sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
    pumice
    stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
    red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
    a
    pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
    sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
    the
    whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
    'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.
    I KNOW MOST OF YOU ARE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

  2. #2
    Forum User lewis_willy2's Avatar
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    Jun 2005
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    e46 328ci, mini cooper s and x5 diesel
    Posts
    1,912
    unreal how true that is

    roflmao

  3. #3
    Forum User
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    Jan 2005
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    8,253
    Been posted before ;)

  4. #4
    Forum User Clio b's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    Location
    Nr Heathrow
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    1,162
    ha ha ha..... very good! so much is true! :D

  5. #5
    I don't wave my willy. I fake dry hump her instead. :P

  6. #6
    Forum User big hp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Williams Gone......
    Posts
    5,064
    How true.

    Forgot to add,

    Go downstairs and slap willy on g/f's face while she's layed on sofa watching eastenders


    Or is that just me?????

  7. #7
    flmao thats wicked nearly pissed my self

  8. #8
    Forum User Clio b's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    Location
    Nr Heathrow
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    1,162
    hmmmmy ex used 2 do silly stuff like that.... idiot! :D

  9. #9
    Forum User
    Join Date
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    Location
    Aberdeenshire - Drives: EvoVI/Williams2
    Posts
    207
    Quote Originally Posted by Clio_Babe
    hmmmmy ex used 2 do silly stuff like that.... idiot! :D
    Silly??????

    That's par for the course if ur male

  10. #10
    Forum User craig100's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    Location
    sheffield
    Posts
    607
    100% so true lol


 

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