LOL this threads funny as fook lol.
So Mitchy wants a race on a road without any corners? Bloody hell that will be fun. Why don't you learn to drive and get on some decent roads, or are you scared your car can't handle it?
TBH my mates 1934 Ford pickup hot rod would paste any Clio or LCR ever into the floor down a bypass, but come to a corner and suspension systems first devised in the 40s would soon slow it down. It doesn't prove anything, just that 500bhp is better than 280 or whatever.
As for comapring the lap times on Top Gear to the Astra VXR, did you actually watch the vid of the Astra going round? The handling on them is shite, same as every FWD Vauxhall thats ever been produced.
For £18000 i'd want a lot better car than a Seat grandad wagon (and they are every LCR i've seen apart from at York has been driven by a 50+ year old bloke). Imagine the Clio you could built for 18 grand, it'd handle a lot better, go a lot quicker and turn a lot more heads than any Seat.
See ya
Matt