Friday funnies - the SAS & 007

[Mooseman]

Three guys, one Navy, one Army and one Royal Marine are taking the test to join the SAS. They have all passed the mental and physical sectinos and are down to the final interview.

Guy from the Navy walks in to be confronted by the SAS Head Shed who gives him a gun and says, "There are 6 bullets in that, your wife is upstairs, go up and kill her".

The guy disappears but comes back 2 minutes later to say,

"Sorry I really want to be in the SAS but she's my wife and I love her"

"Sorry" says Head Shed,"But if you can't take orders, we don't want you"

Guy from Army walks in and the same thing happens, he gets the gun and is told to go upstairs and kill his wife, but also can't do it, so is told to thin out.

The Marine walks in and is given the gun. Off he goes and suddenly 6 shots ring out from upstairs, followed by an almighty commotion, and 10 minutes later he walks back into the room drenched in sweat.

He looks at the Head Shed and chucks the gun at him saying, "You bastard, they were blanks, I had to strangle the bitch!!!"

[Mooseman]

A rather confident 007 walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks,

"Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I am here alone. Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

007 taps, taps his watch,

..
.......
...............
...........................
.............................................

"Damn thing must be an hour fast”

[Jan]

Loving 007 8)

but sas test!? :?

[Gav]

lol brilliant mate...whole office laughed :D