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View Full Version : Letter written by a heartbroken man to his estranged parter



big hp
15-02-2005, 17:20
Dear Audrey

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I
guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot
of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care
about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as
long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this
is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey."

I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're
not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at
Flamingoes and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you,
but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young,
maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a
childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body.
Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's
dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I
thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives.

It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make
her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm
getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better
heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never
really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd
tossed her about a half a pint of throat yoghurt, I found myself
thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?". It wasn't just her
flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else.
Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then
it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey,
to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you.
Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just
reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Pontins last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she
figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know
what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we
had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away
in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack.

She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's
not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear
us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your
grandmother' old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle
it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it
makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever
put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14
years, and we never used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful
time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, she really
is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole
anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness
between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside
your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?

It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could
start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?

I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me know,
otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is.

John

2 live
15-02-2005, 20:35
lmfao.......class

KingStromba
15-02-2005, 22:04
PMSL

16v_paddy
26-12-2008, 03:26
:lol: This thread deserves bumping up for the epic use of the words "cinnamon" and "ring" :rotflmao:

Justin..
26-12-2008, 03:31
good ****in bump worthyness :lol: marvellous

kenny
26-12-2008, 10:40
:) How gut wrenching is that? Audrey would have to go back now, just to spoil his life if nothing else.

lewis_willy2
30-12-2008, 20:17
fpmsl doubt my missus will be!!!

Daz.
30-12-2008, 20:42
made me cry :D

richy
30-12-2008, 20:43
made me cry :cry:

big girl :lol: